I care a lot about what others think of me. I know I shouldn’t, and I really don’t do it so much that it affects my daily life, but to some extent, I hate knowing that someone might think ill of me or that I might inadvertently make someone feel bad.

Right now, this is manifesting itself in something I like to call FOMOMO, or fear of making others miss out. 

(Context: Just went to a BTS concert. Also just sneezed and it feels like I shoved a cheese grater down my throat so obviously I screamed a little too much.)

Back to the topic at hand, I really don’t want to make people feel as though they are missing out on something, as I’ve experienced FOMO so many times. To that effect, I hate feeling like I get to do things that others can’t do and as a result need to downplay them or not tell others about them.

This concert is a perfect example.

I’m going to be honest; I haven’t been into KPOP and BTS for that long. It’s been about half a year of me being REALLY REALLY into it, and before that I listened to KPOP intermittently due to mutual friends. But I know some people who have loved this band and this genre since middle school, who have followed them since they were 15-year-olds in a no-name studio and watched them grow up. However, they were not able to and are not able to attend their concerts. And I, due to extreme luck and fortunate circumstances and just the fact that I had the means to attend, was able to go.

I feel guilty. I feel happy and excited and all of that, but a small part of my feels bad. A part of me wants to take my ticket and my experience and give it to these people free of charge. It’s almost likeI feel as though, compared to them, I don’t deserve to go. I even tried to avoid posting it on social media where they would see it in fear that they would feel bad about it.

I know I shouldn’t care, but I hate that I can go and they can’t. I’m of course thankful of my situation, but I wish I could help them in some way. How can I, someone who just got into the band, be able to go to see them when someone who loved them for 3 years couldn’t even afford the tickets?

I don’t know. All I know is that I have FOMOMO, and I want it to stop.

-FangirlingForGood

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