My eyebrows and I have been in a heated battle for dominance since I developed an almost-unibrow at the tender age of 12. Since then, we have been at war: each one striking against each other, just waiting for the other to blow.
But through it all, we were like friends. Until I failed them.
And now, they have declared war against me, the inept almost-adult that didn’t even think she would ever need to fill in her eyebrows.
And she didn’t, until today. Until she traversed away from her usual salon and went to a new place and a new lady and came out with eyebrows that shifted from tamed caterpillars to slinking snails. It’s like I put my eyebrows on an extreme diet reality show, and they’re finally beginning to show the results of weeks of effort. Except here, they’re too thin. So thin that I feel as though I don’t even have eyebrows at all.
After years and years of watching Zoella videos, the one thing I learned was that eyebrow hair doesn’t always grow back. I’ve heard enough horror stories to know that I should have accepted my bush.
So please, eyebrows, I know we’ve been at war since the dawn of puberty, but please, please grow back. The snails and I don’t mix well, and I don’t have the patience to fill in my eyebrows every day.
I’m sorry I haven’t taken care of you properly, and that I didn’t have my glasses and was too blinded by pain-induced tears to notice that the lady was going way too thin.
From now on, I’ll give you the respect and appreciation you deserve.
-A Girl Who Desperately Hopes Her Eyebrows Return to Normal Annoyingness Before Prom (aka FangirlingForGood)