Semi-Formal: The Happy/Unhappy Medium

I’d like to take a moment to appreciate the fact that I got home from semi-formal, took off my heels, pulled off my stockings, and hopped onto my computer to write down exactly what I feel as soon as possible.

To give context to this situation, I must preface by saying I have NO “swag”.  I don’t really understand twerking, and I don’t know most hip-hop music, and I really really REALLY don’t understand (but very much admire) the ability to roll your hips in sync with a beat. Trained as a classical and technical dancer, my body is used to harsh movements and meaningful hand gestures, not rough gyrations to a cacophonous beat.

Speaking of which, I can’t really hear anymore. I have tinnitus. And I sound about an octave higher than usual from screaming the lyrics to “Shape of You” and “Scream and Shout” at the top of my lungs.

Getting back to the actual event, I don’t really go to school dances. I’ll go to the garbas and the Halloween dances (sometimes) but mostly will only go if my class is the one hosting the event (this time, they were). To that effect, dances are just a bunch of sweaty people dancing to a beat and pretending they know exactly what they’re doing.

When I got to this dance (I was dressed pretty well in my opinion and was channeling my inner emo by wearing all black everywhere), I felt… awkward. My friend group is kind of similar to me in the sense that we’re all really funny and weird in the most awkward way, so us dancing is basically that times one hundred. The reason I haven’t really gone to dances in the past is because I just can’t dance with that “swag” that a lot of other people do, leading me to feel awkward and weird even if no one else notices.

Eventually, it got packed to the point where no one was paying attention to what anyone else was doing, and my group finally let loose and danced (as well as we could). And I had fun. I moved my arms in weird directions and tried to do a few BTS point choreography moves and jutted my hips like I saw in movies. Being surrounded by people I felt completely comfortable with, I was able to be myself and dance like how I wanted to. It sounds superficial and irrelevant, but it meant a lot to me that I was able to have so much fun at something that I traditionally regarded with disdain and exasperation. (I did dance with a few of my “swaggy” friends for a few minutes, and felt really uncomfortable just because they looked cool and I looked like a dog wagging its tail).

I had fun. That’s not to say that I’m not tired. I’m exhausted. Towards the end, I was downing whole bottles of water and dancing like I was intoxicated because of how dizzy I was.

There was one caveat I did notice, though. There were a lot of times where I was alone. And I’m really fine with that, I am. But sometimes, you can’t help but want someone who’s paying attention to you and asking you to dance and all that cheesy stuff (rest assured, Nivi and I had the awkwardest slow dance of all time that promptly ended when all the REAL couples around us started making out).

Also, the food was pretty good and I got to have like 5 types of pasta in one day. Oh, and I dropped a pizza slice on the floor, which my friend Mahwish caught on camera (unfortunately). I also embarrassed myself by dancing really badly in front of basically my entire school, but I’m too happy to care.

Now, as my toes ache from blisters and my hair crisps from the amount of hairspray I doused it with, I’m going to do what I’ve been craving to do all evening: curl up in my bed and enjoy the interwebs (yes, I am really an old frail lady inside).

Overall, today was like a solid 9/10. I’m happy.



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